


Here Comes Santa Claus…

by Sevenwildwaysup



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Drama, Here Comes Santa Claus, Holidays, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 16:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5381528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevenwildwaysup/pseuds/Sevenwildwaysup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian is a very cranky Kinney Claus…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here Comes Santa Claus…

Title: Here Comes Santa Claus…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 2097  
Rating: G…  
Warnings: Drama, Humor…  
Beta Queen: bigj52  
Challenge: The Evil Kinney Girls Club ~ December ~ Come Sit on Santa’s Lap…

 

Summary: Brian is a very cranky Kinney Claus…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

 

**Here Comes Santa Claus…**

 

Justin’s POV

I’m standing around in the mass of passengers waiting at the luggage carousel, wondering why it’s taking so long for our bags to appear. The plane landed over an hour ago, but there’s still no suitcases in the pickup area. Brian didn’t sleep well on the plane, and we’re still on Australian time. Even though it should feel like it’s 8:00 a.m., somehow it feels like the middle of the night. At first I was irritated that he abandoned me here at the luggage carousel all alone, just so he could find a Starbucks and have his precious latte. Now I’m glad, he’d only be complaining about the crowd and crying babies and he needs his coffee.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

“Brian. We’re still waiting for our luggage. It’s taking a really long time.”

“No shit! Well fuck this, Sunshine! I’ll just have it delivered to the house later today.”

“Brian, that’s not going to work. Some of the Christmas presents are packed in our suitcases, and at this rate we’re going to be late getting to Deb’s.”

“We never should have decided to return on the Sunday before Christmas. Look at this crowd.”

I roll my eyes, as he’s been complaining about returning before Christmas for the last couple of days. If he had his way we would have stayed in Sydney until after the first of the year.

“Let’s just skip Deb’s. I need more sleep, and it will be great to be in our own bed.”

“Brian, the whole point of returning today was so we could attend her annual Christmas party.”

“What’s the big deal? I’m sure we’ll see her before Christmas anyways.”

“Because I want to be there for Gus, and the Christmas Gala at the GLC tonight.”

“I’m not going to the fucking Christmas Gala! You know I hate the GLC.”

“Brian! Gus is in the play, and I want to see him.”

“Yes, of course! We can’t miss his acting debut.”

“Would you please lose the attitude before we get to Deb’s? You don’t want Gus to think you don’t want to see him.”

“I don’t understand why Deb had to move her Christmas party to today?”

“Well, let’s see. Because you didn’t want to come to her house on Christmas Day? Besides, Carl is taking her to Hawaii for Christmas.”

Brian crumples up his Starbucks cup and tosses it at the garbage can, missing.

“Fuck!”

“Brian! There’s children around. Could you please get in the Christmas spirit?”

He leans against one of the columns in the baggage claim, closing his eyes, frustrated that he’s not getting his own way. Sometimes he can be such a baby. He takes my coffee from me, and I decide not to complain. Maybe his mood will improve with more caffeine in his system.

Finally the luggage starts circling around on the conveyer belt, but locating our bags amongst the sea of black suitcases is a nightmare. But of course, Brian can spot his designer luggage anywhere, so he squeezes through the crowd. He grabs our bags, pushing everyone out of his way, then we head out to the limo that’s waiting. I halt our movements, deciding that I should retrieve our presents before we leave the terminal. Mr. Cranky isn’t happy, as he complains that I should have packed them on top, knowing I was going to have to search for them once we landed. Of course he’s right, but I’ll be damned if I’ll admit that to him.

~~~

It’s snowing pretty heavily outside, the traffic on the freeway is slow and the roads are slippery. When we get to Deb’s, Michael and the kids are building snowmen out front, and having fun playing in the snow. The atmosphere in the house isn’t so jolly, it’s obvious that Mel is just as cranky as Brian. Lindsay looks pissed, Ben looks upset. Deb and Emmett are arguing in the kitchen about the best way to make gravy, and Carl can’t stop blowing his nose and looks like he should be in bed. 

“How about we just back out of the house really slowly and maybe no one will notice us?”

I’m thinking that actually sounds like a good idea. The tension in the house is so thick and uncomfortable. 

“Well, look who finally showed up!”

“It’s nice to see you too, Mel.”

“What, Brian? Did you have to stop in the men’s room and have your dick sucked by everyone in there?”

I just glare at her. I hate when she’s like this.

Lindsay, as always, is the perfect wasp. “Mel, please…”

“Brian! Justin!”

Deb comes over and squeezes all the air out of our lungs, then she starts in on us.

“You’re late! I thought your plane landed at two-thirty?”

“It did, but the airport was crowded and the luggage carousel took forever.”

Emmett takes our coats, while Ted and Blake look like they need a strong drink, but they settle for ginger ale. Yep, another fun-filled holiday at Deb’s. Michael and the kids come in from the cold, red faced with runny noses. 

“Wow, Brian! You’re so tan. I thought you went to Australia?”

I frown, crinkling my nose, thinking he’s a complete idiot.

“Yes, Mikey. You know the whole world isn’t covered in snow this time of year.”

“So it’s like Florida?”

Brian stares at him, thinking unbelievable. I knew he flunked out of math and science, but I thought he knew something about geography. 

“You see, Mikey, there’s this thing called the equator. As the earth spins around the sun, half of the year one side of the planet is closer to the sun and it’s summertime, while the other half is in the opposite season.”

“So it’s June and not December in Australia?”

Brian’s dumbfounded. “No, it’s still December, Michael.”

“That’s just weird.”

Well, that was entertaining, and seemed to break the tension for a few minutes. 

“Who wants champagne?”

“Do you have anything stronger?”

“Brian, it’s still like ten o’clock in the morning for us.”

“Sunshine, what better way to adjust to the time change?”

“Dinner’s ready, let’s eat!”

We crowd around Deb’s dinner table, but the conversation is tense and I wonder what’s going on with everyone. I’m actually happy that Brian and I will be spending Christmas without the gang at Britin. I couldn’t take another day like today. 

“So what time is the Gala starting tonight?”

“It’s at eight, but we have to be there at seven, since we’re on the entertainment committee.”

Mel is glaring at Lindsay as she tells us, and I wonder just what the problem is between them today, actually between everyone. It’s like we came in on the third act and don’t remember our lines. We make it through dinner, and I offer to do the dishes to avoid having to try and make small talk. It’s like pulling teeth, and everyone is acting overly sensitive. The kids even seem to feel all the stress, and they go back outside to play with Ben and Michael.

Lindsay starts with her sickeningly sweet voice that I know drives Brian crazy.

“Brian. Carl was going to play Santa Claus, but now that’s he’s sick he can’t really hand out presents to the kids.”

“It’s not like there’s enough presents to hand out anyways.”

“Mel, please…”

“I’m just saying…”

“All right! All right, fine! I didn’t promote the pageant enough to get people to donate toys, but the Liberty Bakery donated dozens of cookies.”

“Right! So some kids get Barbie’s and GI Joes, and the others get gingerbread men? Really, Linds?”

“Christ, Mel! Could you please try and be supportive? Try and help me out here?”

“This is not my holiday! Stop pushing it down my throat!”

“Okay. I get it! I shouldn’t have signed up to be in charge of the Christmas pageant!” With that, Lindsay starts crying and runs out of the house.

Deb comes over and sits next to Brian. “Brian. Honey, we really need you to step in and take Carl’s place playing Santa.”

“Me? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Brian, please… We really need you.”

Brian glares at her. “I am not playing some fat Santa! Why can’t someone else do it? How about Ben?”

Deb takes a deep breath. It’s obvious that was part of the drama going on in the house.

“He did volunteer. But when Lindsay called Tannis to let her know about the change of plans, she freaked out. She doesn’t want Ben having the kids sitting on his lap, and passing out presents.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“She worried about the whole HIV thing, and how the parents will react.”

“That’s totally fucked up! Everyone knows that the kids are perfectly safe sitting on his lap.”

“The point is she won’t allow it, and we really need a last-minute replacement.”

“Deb… You know this isn’t my thing.”

I come over and take his hand. “Brian, please do this for the kids. They’re expecting to see Santa, and besides, you look great in red, and you even grew your beard out on vacation.”

Brian shakes his head, wondering how Justin always gets him to do things he would never normally do.

“Okay, but only if everyone else plays along too. You all have to dress up as elves, and help me pass out the gifts.”

I sit on Brian’s lap, kissing him, thanking him for saving Christmas for the kids. Brian gets out his phone and calls the costume shop, there’s no way he’s wearing a fat Santa suit.

Emmett comes over. “Now we just have to do something about your hair.”

“You’re not fucking with my hair!”

“Brian. Santa has white hair and a beard. I think a sprinkle of baby powder will do the trick.”

I snicker, remembering how Brian spent an hour in front of the mirror a few days ago, plucking out all his grey hairs. 

“This is not funny, Sunshine.”

I’m still laughing my ass off.

“Fine! I agreed to play Santa, but I’m not graying my hair! No fucking way! I’ll be a young Santa!”

Em smiles. “I think we can live with that.”

~~~

Gus is adorable, as he sings and dances on stage, hamming it up for the audience. Every once in a while he waves at Brian with a huge grin on his face. The costumes are delivered as promised, and half way through the play Mel pulls Brian out of his seat.

“Brian, there’s a semi-truck parked out back, unloading boxes! What have you done? This better not be another one of your stunts like the Carnival, because I’ll kill you if it is!”

“And here I thought you weren’t involved in the Christmas Gala?”

“Shut the fuck up and get changed into your Santa suit!”

 

Justin’s POV

Brian changes his clothes, and actually looks pretty sexy in his tailored Santa suit, complete with a huge black patent-leather belt and boots. Justin adjusts his Santa cap, as he takes his seat on the gazebo that’s covered white twinkly lights. Next to it is a fake Christmas tree, with a row of huge candy canes on each side. Justin thinks to himself how much fun he’ll have sitting on Santa’s lap later tonight.

Justin, Ted, and Emmett are all dressed up in tights and skimpy elves outfits, with long striped hats and pointy shoes. Lindsay’s dressed in a short red velvet dress, making for a very beautiful Mrs. Claus, handing out candy canes. She uses her lipstick to pick up the elves’ cheeks and Emmett insists that they all wear mascara. Brian refuses to wear any kind of makeup, saying that Santa is a strong male, and he would never wear makeup.

The kids are excited, seeing Santa sitting up on his throne as they wait in line. Emmett is standing to the side of Santa, as the kids tell Santa what they want for Christmas. Em’s on his cell phone messaging the elves, and then the requested toy appears like magic, making the children happy and excited. Cinderella Toys on Liberty Avenue had no problem loading up one of their trucks full of all the last toys of the season, once Brian offered to design a new adverting campaign, free of charge.

Gus and JR are waiting in line to sit on Santa’s lap, and as they get closer, Gus squeals with excitement when he sees Santa. He squeezes JR’s hand. “I knew my dad was a superhero, but I didn’t know he was Santa too!”

The End


End file.
